There's only so many chances
by Callisto-HK
Summary: -Spoiler Alert- Things start to go sour when Dean's secret is revealed. History repeats itself, but this time it might be too late to rebuild broken bridges. /Set in season 7. Rated T for Language./ PLS read the A/N!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N :** **This story contains spoilers for Season 7 and it will make no sense if you haven't seen episode 3!**  
>Episode 5 has never happened, since I needed things to go another way. I'm not sure about episode 6, but that probably won't happen, either!<p>

All in all, this is my take on how things could go if Sam finds out about Dean's secret.

**A/N 2:** I'm trying my best to stay loyal to the characters and the show, but Sam's recent behavior makes me believe this is the way he'd react!  
>I'm pretty mad at Sam, right now and I'm a Dean girl. Yes! But I like them both and I admire the brotherly love between Dean and Sam! So, there's no hostility behind any words of this fiction. It's the way it is just because I'm sure this could happen at some points!<p>

**Reviews are really appreciated**. I'd love to know your ideas, but please, if you wanna accuse me for bashing Sam, don't bother to leave a comment! Once again, I assure you that this is **not** a character-bashing story!

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**.There's only so many chances.**

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"You lied to me!" Sam shouted at Dean, repeating the same sentence for the tenth times.

"YES. Dammit." Dean finally shouted back. "But did I have any other choice? No! Did you give me any other option? Another No."

"Oh, so it's my fault now?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong here to be anyone's fault." Dean leaned against the wall.

"Nothing is wrong? Nothing is wrong?" Sam wanted so bad to hit Dean. "You killed Amy after I asked you not to and explained to you that killing her wasn't the right thing. And you still went behind my back and killed her. _Behind_ my back, while you pretended that you've listened to me and trusted me!"

"Are you done?"

Sam glared at him.

"Listen Sam, I know you're angry. I get it, okay? But what would you do if you were in my shoes? You were too emotionally involved to make the right decision. I'm sorry I lied to you, I just wanted to protect you. As about killing Amy, I'm sorry that it had to be done, but I'm not sorry for killing her. She was a monster, Sam. Admit it."

"She had it under control. She wasn't a monster."

"Yes, she said she wouldn't kill, but what do you think she would do next time her kid got sick? You think she would really keep a stupid promise and let her child die? I don't think so." Dean shook his head. He was angry, but he was also tired; more like exhausted. He couldn't argue with his brother for doing the right thing. He just didn't have the energy.

"Her child. O my god, tell me you didn't kill her child, too."

"What the hell? Of course, I didn't. What do you think I am?"

"Actually, I have no idea, right now. You're nothing like my brother, for sure. You sound more like a monster to me." Sam wasn't happy with what he had said, but he was too angry to care. He caught the look of hurt that passed over Dean's face and felt satisfied.

"Have it your way. I just hope, one day, you grow up enough to realize that it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry if I sound like a monster to you, but I'm a hunter and it's my job to save people from Amy's kind. I'd kill her again if I have to. So deal with it." with that Dean turned to leave the room, but stopped when Sam called his name.

Turning around he expected many things, but a punch wasn't one of them really. Sam's fist connected with his cheek and his neck snapped back. Caught by surprise, Dean staggered a few steps back.

"Sometimes I think I don't even know you anymore." Sam gritted out as he grabbed his duffel bag and walked to the door. "We better split up before I -" he let the word hang in the air. "Don't look for me. I'm done here." and just like that he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dean stared at the empty room for a few more seconds before coming back to his senses. "You'll never change Sammy boy, will you?" he sighed and walked to the frig. Grabbing a beer, he sunk to the nearest chair, putting the cold bottle on his throbbing cheek.

He was too tired and for the first time he was glad to feel that way; because he knew that if he was just a little less tired, Sam's words and punch would've stung way worse. Right now, though, he was just numb.

Yes, those words had hurt like hell, but he felt too empty to care. Thinking about the last few years, he couldn't help but chuckle at his situation. It has been like that for years, now. Nothing was new; neither the words, nor the punch. He's been the target of those things way too many times in the past few years. It almost felt like he was everybody's whipping boy.

The sad thing was he had expected things to go that way and that was partly why he had hidden the truth. A part of him wanted to protect Sam; didn't want to upset him. But the other part was just afraid of losing Sam, again.

Although he was sure it would end like this, a little part of him desperately wanted it to be different this time; wanted Sam to understand and stay by him. Wanted- needed to see a little loyalty.

But who was he kidding? He knew better than that. He didn't really _need_ Sam for going through life. He could manage by his own, just fine. His brother had left him more times than he could remember and basically he'd taken care of himself and his family since he was just a kid.

So no, that wasn't the problem. He wanted Sam by his side, for some other reasons. He wanted to make sure that his little brother was safe. To make sure he could protect him. The other part of him just wanted to have him around; to keep what little family he had left, close. And now, that little family was gone. Again.

...

"He'll come back to you, Dean. He can't stay gone for long." Bobby said from the other side of the line, when he heard the story.

"I know. I just hope it's not too late."

"Again." Bobby finished for him.

"Just keep an eye out, will you? To make sure he's not in trouble or danger." Dean sighed.

"He's a grown up, Dean. He can take care of himself. You need to stop looking after him."

"I wish I could, but sometimes I can't help but feel he's still a kid."

Bobby sighed inwardly and kept himself from saying that it was partly Dean's fault. Dean never had a childhood, and that was why he tried so hard to make sure Sam had one. Maybe he went too far. If he'd let Sam face the consequences of his actions and take the blame for his mistakes, he wouldn't act so childish, right now. But he couldn't say it aloud, Dean didn't need another lecture. "I will look for him." he said instead. "You take care of yourself, boy and don't do anything stupid. We still don't know anything about those Leviathans."

"Yeah, I know. I'll be careful."

"Why am I not convinced?"

"Take care Bobby, give me a call if you hear anything." Dean changed the subject.

"Sure thing, boy. But Dean, you sure you are-"

"I'm fine Bobby. I'm always fine. We don't have time for this."

"You did the right thing, you know that, right?"

"I do, but somehow it doesn't make me feel any better."

"It'll get better."

"Sure. Take care. I'll see you soon." Dean said and hung up the phone. Grabbing his beer, he settled into the chair to go through some articles about the new hunt he had ahead.

...

Bobby put all his effort into finding Sam but it was a week later when he finally got a call from someone who knew where he could find that boy. And the ironic thing was that the call was actually from Dean, telling him that he knew where his brother was and asking him to go and talk to him. Bobby thought about refusing and making Dean go, himself. But knowing how pigheaded Sam could be, he decided to cut Dean some slack and he, himself, headed to meet Sam.

"Looking for something?" Bobby said to Sam who was slowly waking up and was looking for his Beretta under his pillow.

Sam jumped at his voice and relaxed back when he saw who he was. "Bobby." he growled. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you, too." Bobby didn't answer his question.

"Dean send you?" Sam asked angrily.

"Yes. Because unlike you, he gets worried and cares for his family." Bobby retorted.

"Ahh, give me a break." Sam slowly got up and stretched his body. "You can go back and tell him to screw himself. I don't need a lecture. I don't wanna know how you've gotten in, but you can use the door to get out. I don't wanna hear from Dean, anymore."

"I don't care what you want. I'm not your little carrier pigeon and I won't leave here until I give you a piece of my mind."

"Sure. Go ahead and blame me for everything." Sam leaned against the bathroom door frame. "Just make it quick. I wanna go for a run and then I gotta go to the library for some research."

That really irritated Bobby. Standing up from his seat, he was in Sam's face in a fraction of a second. "Oh, I'll make it fast. Because seriously what's there to say? Just that you're too damn like your father and too damn pigheaded for your own good. You can't see what you're doing to Dean; or to yourself, for that matter. You're acting just like a little brat; closing your eyes and opening your mouth, letting any unwholesome talk come out without giving it a second thought. And Dean says you're _smart_." Bobby said sarcastically.  
>"Get back to your brother, dammit. You both have been through a lot. Don't you think we've already enough on our plates? We don't have time for you to play hide and seek. Those damn monsters weren't enough so you'd to pick a quarrel with your own brother, too?"<p>

"He betrayed me. Can't you see that?" Sam shouted back.

"No I can't. Because from where I'm standing the thing he did was the right thing and deep down, you know it, too. You're just hurt because he didn't go the way you wanted him to and cuz he kept it hidden from you; while I'm sure you would've done exactly the same."

Sam was red with rage, he could hear Lucifer's voice mocking him and it was irritating him even more. Dean had somehow managed to keep him in line as he always felt safe around Dean. The voices had gotten louder during the past week that he had been away and it scared and aggravated him to no end.

"Open your eyes, Sam. All your brother is trying to do is helping _you_ and I know what a hard time you have; I know, boy and I'll be there for you whenever you need me, but I can't be Dean for you. Nobody can." Bobby's voice was lower and soothing.  
>"Dean's on the edge, Sam. I'm sure you've noticed, or at least you did before giving him all those crap. He's had enough and he's stopped caring about his limits. You two are each other's anchors. Don't do something you'll regret later. Go back to your brother, Sam."<p>

"I can't. Not now."

"Dammit, you idjit. What the hell is wrong with you? You're giving those monsters out there what they need. How many times do you need to go through the same thing to finally learn your lessons? Because this is like a figgin' déjà vu to me. A damn déjà vu which I have seen more than once. Enough is enough, Sam."

"I said not now. He needs to understand that he'd made a mistake." Sam wasn't sure why he had said it, maybe because he couldn't bring himself to apologize; but he actually had enough time to think and realize that it wasn't Dean who had made a mistake. He knew that he would've done the same thing if the tables were reversed.

"That's what this is about?" Bobby looked at him in shock. "You just can't say '_sorry'_?" He let out a bitter laugh. "Don't worry, I don't think Dean ever expect you to say it. Just go back and it will be over."

Sam grabbed his towel and walked towards the bathroom. "Close the door behind you."

"You stupid idjit. You're just like your father. You can't admit that you've been wrong. I've had enough. Do whatever you want, just don't come running to me, asking for help when the unimaginable happens." and with that he strode out, leaving the door open behind him.

Inside the bathroom, Sam sank to the floor and remained there for the next couple of hours. When he finally got up, he collected his stuff and went to find another hunt. That town was suffocating.

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**... TBC ...**

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><p><strong><strong>Let me know what you think? :)<strong>**

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** A huge thanks to everyone who's supporting me. Your comments always mean a lot. I totally needed your kind words! :D  
>Thank you, thank you, thank you! :)<p>

Hope you enjoy the rest of this story, as well! ^_^

But hey, if you hate this story so much, don't read it! There's no force!

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"Bobby." Dean greeted as he answered his phone after the sixth ring. "Sorry, it took me long to answer, I was in the middle of something."

"What kind of something?" Bobby grinned.

"Not that kind of something." Dean said back. "Not that I'd ever tell you if it was. I was just talking to a witness."

"Aha. So how's everything?"

"Smalltalk, Bobby? Really?"

"I met Sam. He's fine."

"Huh, good. Thanks."

"Actually I talked to him."

"Aha."

"It didn't really go well." Bobby sighed.

"Yeah, I know. Not your fault. Don't worry about it."

"Dean, what's this job you're doing, right now? Where are you?"

"It's far from you. Somewhere close to Jefferson City."

"What's the job?"

"Skinwalker. At least it seems so."

"Be careful, Dean. It's not safe to hunt alone, not with those new monsters looking for you."

"I can't just step aside and forget about hunting because Sammy's too angry to see straight, Bobby. I'll be careful. If everything goes well, I'll finish this job tonight and I'll head to your place to see if we can find anything about our new lovely fuckers."

"Make sure you come straight back to my place, then. I could use some help. And once again-"

"I won't do anything stupid. I know."

"And don't drink that much, you wise-ass."

"What?"

"I can hear you're opening that damn flask."

"Whatever." Dean growled. "Later."

...

Although they'd planned to work together, it was 4 days later when Bobby got another call from Dean.

"Singer."

"Bobby." Dean's voice filled Bobby's ear.

"Dean? Where the hell are you? I thought you said you were going to come here as soon as you finished the job. Did anything go wrong? Where are you and why in the hell didn't you answer your damn phone?"

"What job?" Dean asked, confusion was evident in his voice. "I.. Uh.. Oh, the skinwalker. It went well. My phone is broken."

"Dean, what's wrong? You don't sound so good."

"I tried to call Sam. He hung up on me."

"Are you drunk, Dean?"

"No."

"Dean-"

"I'm not drunk, Bobby." Dean insisted. " I- I needed him and he hung up."

"It's alright, son. Tell me where you are. Are you calling from a motel?"

"Yes. Umm, I'm not sure. I was on my way to your-" a cough interrupted him. It took Dean a minute to finally be able to speak again and when he did he was so out of breath that he sounded like he'd just been running for his life. "I was..on.. - to your... place."

"Dean, dammit. What's wrong?"

Dean remained silent to take a few breaths. "I don't feel so hot. I tried to call Sam, but he didn't want to talk. I.. It took me awhile to remember the number to your new place."

"I have a cellphone, you know?"

"Couldn't remember that o-" another painful wet cough from the other side and Bobby was on his feet, trying to gather some stuff and get to his car.

"What happened to you?"

"Leviathan."

"Crap. I'm on my way, Dean. Just tell me what's the last town you passed."

"Dean." Bobby urged when he didn't get any answer.

"Yeah, I'm thinking." a cough and Dean's voice was back. "Rapid city. I think I'm near Spearfish."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I've gotten out of Rapid City when it-" there was a muffled sound and then a gasp of pain. "Bring your first aid kit, Bobby. It's not good."

"Dean. I'm on my way. Hang on, Son. What's the name of your motel?"

"Wait... Days Inn. Room 8."

"I'll be there in 10 hours, or less." Bobby sighed. "Just hold on, Dean. I'll be there in no time."

"Not going anywhere. Thanks Bobby." And with that the line went dead.

...

True to his words, less than 10 hours later Bobby entered the Motel's parking lot and parked his car beside Dean's Impala.

"Open up, Dean." he knocked the door. "What am I expecting, the boy couldn't talk for 2 minutes straight." he chastised himself and picked the lock.

Entering the room, he froze in place. Before his eyes, Dean was lying on his left side on the bed. With his clothes still on, the boy looked battered.

"Dean. How the hell did you get the room looking like this?" he asked the unconscious man.

"Hmm." Dean just moaned.

"Open your eyes, Dean." Bobby ordered, but to no avail. "Hey, Dean. Come on." he shook Dean and tapped his cheek.

Dean blinked a few times but he still had a hard time focusing. "Sammy?"

That single word almost broke Bobby's heart. Sam was the one who Dean needed, and like many other times, he wasn't there when it mattered most. "No, Dean. It's me. Bobby."

"Bobby? Where?" he looked around in confusion.

"The motel. You called me, remember?"

Dean closed his eyes and for a second Bobby thought he had lost consciousness again, but then Dean's eyes opened and he was lucid this time. "The Leviathan. It came out of nowhere. Gotta make sure Sam's fine." he struggled to sit up.

"No." Bobby gently pushed him down. "Gotta make sure you're not gonna die in a crappy motel room. Tell me what hurts?"

"Might be easier if you ask what doesn't."

"OK. What doesn't hurt?"

"Umm, my left toe and... left ear. I think." Dean smirked slightly.

"Your right side took the brunt of the attack then, huh?"

"You could say so."

Helping Dean to shrug off his jacket, Bobby gasped when he saw the huge crimson stain on Dean's shirt. No wonder he was shivering so badly. He had lost a good amount of blood and although the bandages that Dean had put on the wound had slowed down the flow and probably saved his life, it was still sluggishly oozing blood. However it seemed like it had started bleeding again when he had moved to take his jacket off.

"Dean, what the hell?"

"Ruby's knife doesn't work on them."

"No shit. Apparently, it doesn't work on you, either."

Dean chuckled at that.

"What did you do to it?"

"To what?" Dean looked up.

"To that monster?"

"Ah, chopped his head off. You know, like vampires." Dean notified. "Should slow it down, for a while"

Bobby nodded his approval. "We need to get you to the hospital."

"No. We can't. There will be too many questions. Besides, we'll be an easy target there. We need to stay under the radar."

"And bury you under the radar, by the look of it. Dean, you look like hell. I cannot fix this."

"Yes, you can. It's nothing Bobby. No broken bones. Nothing. I'm just one big bruise. Aside from that gash on my back that needs a few stitches, of course."

"That gash and the other ones on your forehead and your arm. And you _do have_ broken bones. Even with one quick look I can say that at least 2 of your ribs are broken, you have 2 broken fingers on your right hand and your right shoulder seems dislocated. There's a dark bruise around your kidney which I don't like at all. The list goes on."

"You're getting faster. You really realize so many things by just looking at me?"

"I guess, I owe that to you. Can you remember how many times you've put me in this situation?"

"I love your bedside manner?"

"Yeah, you could've fooled me. Dean, you're running a fever. We really need to go to the hospital." Bobby insisted. "But I guess it's not an option." he gave up at Dean's glare.

"Thanks." Dean mumbled and closed his eyes.

"Now now, open your eyes. You can't sleep, yet. I need to take care of your wounds and I need you awake to make sure everything is taken care of."

"I can do that." Dean said with half-closed eyes.

"I can see that. OK, I'll start with your back wound."

"Go ahead; just don't start describing every damn thing. Feeling it is enough, I don't need a picture."

"You were coughing a lot when we were on the phone."

"Yeah, my chest kinda hurts."

"Dean, I swear, if you have a punctured lung, I'll drag you to the hospital."

"Fair enough. I don't have one, though."

Bobby worked hard for the next few hours to patch Dean up. It was even worse than what it seemed and Bobby had vowed to himself that if Dean's fever didn't break by the morning or if he wasn't any better, he'd get him to the nearest hospital. "Screw those monsters; you've to be alive to face them."

And of course things changed for the worse during the night. After all, it was Dean, a Winchester, who was lying on that bed; usually luck was not on their side.

Bobby had no choice but to call an ambulance.

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**... TBC ...**

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><p><strong><strong>AN: Ahhh, it's not fair! I swear I've written the whole_ 'chop its head off'_ thing before watching the episode! =D Now, it seems like I've copied it! :D  
>Will you believe me if I say it was totally my own idea? :D<br>****

After watching this episode, I figured that some stuff and information in this story might not exactly match the show. I can't change them, though! They should stay this way! Sorry for those little points!

****Please don't forget to let me know what you think. :)****

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Once again, thank you all for all kind of alerts and all the reviews. They give me hope and make me REALLY happy. ^_^

Hope you enjoy the rest, too. :)

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The sun was rising when a doctor finally showed up in the waiting room to tell Bobby about Dean's condition.

"Is he alright? What's wrong? It took you too long, doc."

"Mr. Singer. Your nephew is a very sick man. It really took us a long time to finally stabilize him. We had to do a surgery on him to wire his two broken ribs together and taking care of the renal bleeding. The stab wound was also slightly infected which is why we have him under antibiotic. The other bruises and contusion must heal in time, but the thing that worries me is a strange substance in his blood. We've the lab to test it more and hopefully we'll find something useful, soon. But it's weakening his system and it's getting harder to keep him stable."

For Bobby it felt like there wasn't enough air in that room, anymore. "What do you mean strange?"

"My guess is whoever did this to him had used some kind of poison. We really could use some information if we knew who had done this to him." the doctor said, hoping to find more about the whole incident.

"I wish I knew. Dean said that he couldn't see their faces. And it was a couple of days ago." Bobby lied. What was he supposed to say? That a Leviathan which was a new monster by the way, had attacked him and so Dean had chopped his head off? Oh, no. He didn't have time for the psych ward.

"What will happen if you don't find anything about that.. that I don't know, poison." Bobby asked, almost scared of the answer.

The doctor sighed. "I don't know. I wish I could reassure you somehow, but the thing is we don't know what it is; therefore we don't know what kind of effects it has on his body. We just know that with Dean's severe injuries, it's too hard for him to fight it. Usually in these situations, if we don't find the cure fast, the body will just shut down completely."

"Are you telling me that he'll die?" Bobby couldn't believe it.

"I'm sorry, but yes. We'll try our best to help him, though. You might wanna stay with him. He's awake and in a lot of pain. We can't give him anything for the pain before we know more about the unknown substance in his blood."

"Crap." Bobby cursed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Where is he?"

"I'll tell the nurse to help you find his room. You also might wanna call his wife or any other family member, if he has."

Bobby just nodded and thought about the only family member that should've been there at that moment. Or maybe they wouldn't be there at all, if he hadn't left in the first place.

"Dean?" he quietly called as he stood beside the ailing man on the bed.

Dean opened his eyes with some difficulty and greeted his visitor. "Bobby." his voice wasn't louder than a whisper, a clear sign of the pain he was struggling with. "I'd kill for a bottle of whiskey, right now."

"I bet you do. I'm just not sure if it's because you can't live without it anymore, or because you're in pain."

"What? I'm not an alcoholic. Of course I can live without it, I just don't want to."

"Aha, OK." Bobby sat on the chair beside the bed. "Dean?"

"Yeah, I've heard. Strange substance; no cure."

"You're not dying."

"No, but that thing is inside me."

"What?"

"What do you think that strange substance is? I stabbed that Leviathan, before it grabbed my hand and pulled the knife out of his heart. He broke my fingers doing so, by the way." Dean cringed at the memory.

"He then turned me around in a really painful way and dug the knife in my back; my hand still on its hilt. Can you believe it? I stabbed myself in the back. Literally. This one was new." Dean chuckle at how ironic the situation was. "That's why my shoulder was dislocated. It's really hard to stab yourself in the back, I'm telling you."

Bobby was shocked; he cursed himself for not realizing sooner. Of course that strange _poison_ was the Leviathan's black goo that had entered Dean's blood.

"But wait, does that mean? I mean-"

"Are you asking me if I'm turning into one of those?" Dean helped him. "Nah, I don't think so. First of all, I don't think there was enough of him on that blade to take my body. Second of all, they're not like vampires, they don't turn you. It's more like possessing the body and killing the one inside. At least I think so."

"How do you know that?"

"Castiel, he, umm... exploded in the water. That's how they went around and got those humans' bodies."

"You still can't be sure."

"No, I can't. That's why I want you to kill me if you saw any sign of me turning into one of them. Kill me and burn the body. I don't want to- I can't be one of them, Bobby. Please, promise me."

"Shut up, you idjit. You're right. If you were about to turn, it's had enough time. You're not going anywhere or turning into anything."

"Bo-"

"I said shut up, Dean. You think it would take this long if you were about to change? It'd probably happen in an instant."

Dean didn't say anything.

"We can't say what it's doing to you, though. It's dangerous and it could be fatal, but you gotta fight it, Dean. You hear me? Those things are brand new, thus I can't really find anything to help you, but you gotta fight. You don't get to give up." Bobby ordered.

"Bossy so much?" Dean rolled his eyes, before slowly closing them. "Call Sam one last time, will you? I-"

"I just told you that you are not dying; didn't you hear anything I just said?"

"He doesn't want me around anymore." Somehow Dean seemed to be stuck in his own world." I thought he'd come back, but it seems like this time it's different."

"It's not. He's done this before. It might take a while for him to finally open his eyes." _Before closing them again, it is._ Bobby added silently.

"I might not have that much time."

"The pain is fucking with your mind." Bobby shook his head. "This is not going to kill you. You can't let it Dean."

"I'm tired." Dean admitted quietly before his eyes fluttered shut as he finally fell to a restless sleep.

Bobby was sure that Dean's statement had nothing to do with his pain and physical fatigue_. _But the resignation in his voice had shaken him to the core.

He had to find a way to help that boy; he couldn't let him give up just like that. Dean had been through too much. Life had never been easy on him, but things seemed to get just worse day after day.

First his father's death; then Sam's and that stupid deal; then his time in hell; Sam's betrayal and choosing a demon over him. Not even a day later they got stuck in the middle of Michael and Lucifer's battle and then there was the end of the world; losing his brother again; having a shell of him back, being betrayed again by his soulless version, fighting to get his soul back; fighting Eve. And like those things weren't enough Castiel had to go rogue and betray Dean's trust and drop Sam's mind-wall; then of course there was his death and now these Leviathans were out there.

Man, the list was way too long and he hadn't even thought about every single disaster that had happened that past few years. Just one of them was enough to bring anyone else to their knees and make them give up completely, but Dean wasn't anyone else. He was a fighter, he'd always been. He was too selfless to give up. But now? Now was different. Now Sam was gone and he was one of the few people around Dean who knew how to make his brother fight, if not the only one. Dean would do anything for his brother.

Of course he was tired, but he'd been tired for years now. Being tired was one thing for Dean and reaching the breaking point was another. Bobby had seen him like that just a couple of times before and he wasn't about to sit around and watch that boy die.

No, he'd drag Sam back if he'd to; he'd tie him to the chair and lecture him for the rest of his life if that was the only way to open that stubborn boy's eyes. Sam was a good kid, he just didn't know what he was losing; he could easily forget and take the only constant good thing in his life for granted. He definitely had forgotten everything that his brother had given up for him and Dean was paying the price. Again.

Growling with anger, Bobby stood up and rushed out of the ICU room. He wasn't able to find a cure to Dean's physical injury, but he'd be damned if he couldn't bring Dean's only reason to live to his bedside. Sam was needed there and Bobby was determined to find him.

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**... TBC ...**

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think. :)<strong>

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**A/N: To two of my lovely reviewers to whom I can't reply directly:  
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Dear **Queen Bee, **thank you SOoOoo much for your support and nice words**. **It really means a lot and I thought I needed to thank you here, since I couldn't send you a direct message. :)

And dear** JustAPerson**, first of all, I gotta thank you for being polite and so nice. :D  
>Then, I don't think Sam is bad or evil. He just acts childish and adding that to the fact that he wants Dean to treat him like a grown up, can be annoying at times! That kinda childish behavior can cause disaster in the real life. (It won't in the show.)<br>During season 5 Dean was worried that Sam might start drinking demon blood again. That was why he couldn't trust him completely. And the last few episodes Dean's been worried about Sam's state of mind. And I don't think Dean's treating him bad, he's just worried and trying to cut him some slack.  
>And no! Seriously, if my first love was a monster, I'd definitely trust my <em>brother<em> and wouldn't even put him in that situation, in the first place! Come on, Sam hadn't really been around that girl more than an hour! It's nothing like the relationship between Dean and Sam. Dean had raised that boy; spent his whole life protecting him. Of course Dean can't and won't kill his own brother!

Anyways, don't worry! Like I said, I really like those boys together! Wait a little longer and I think you'll see what I mean! ;) Thanks for reading and letting me know what you think! :D

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	4. Chapter 4

"Hi, can I ask you something, umm, Kate?" Bobby asked the nurse behind the desk as he tried to read her name.

"Sure. What can I do for you, Mr. Singer?"

"I want you to call someone for me. Well, actually it's for Dean. I want you to call his brother. He doesn't answer me; he'll hang up if he hears my voice. Family issues, you know." Bobby tried to smile.

Kate nodded her head in understanding. "I understand. It happens. What do you want me to tell him?"

"Just the truth. I'll give you the number and you tell him how his brother is. Tell him about- that-.. You know?"

"Yes, I know. Call him and pass me the phone." Kate offered him the phone.

Bobby silently dialed the number and passed the phone back. "His name is Sam. Just don't mention my name, please."

Kate smiled and nodded again before starting to talk to the one on the other side of the line. "Hi, is this Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam answered with uncertainty. "Who's this?"

"This is Kate Sanders, I'm calling you from the Spearfish Regional Hospital. It's about your brother, sorry, he's-"

"Hospital? What's it? What's happened to Dean?"

"Sir, could you please calm down? I'll tell you all about him."

"Sorry, go on. What's it. He's not dead, is he?"

"No, not-" she caught herself a little too late; Sam had heard the unsaid _'yet'_. "His condition is critical, we think it's good if he has his family around." she finished.

"What happened?"

"He's been attacked, but I cannot tell you more behind the phone. Now if you could get here-"

"I'll be there as soon as possible. You said Spearfish?"

"Yes."

"I'll take the next flight. I'll be there in no time. Just please, don't let him-" he couldn't finish his sentence.

"We're trying our best and he's holding his own pretty good, considering his injuries and condition. I'll see you soon, I assume."

"Yes, yes. I'm coming. Thanks for calling me."

"I just did my job." Kate said and finished the call.

Bobby smiled. "Thank you, Kate. You've no idea how much you just helped Dean."

"I'm glad. I just hope he gets better and this wasn't a call to bring his brother here to say goodbye."

Bobby sighed and offered a faded smile before returning to Dean's room. Calling Sam had went better than he thought. He was glad he hadn't tried to call Sam, himself.

...

Sam wanted to kick himself; wanted to yell at himself; to hit himself so hard that he would never forget the pain ever again.

He knew something was wrong. He had a bad feeling for days, now. It actually started with Bobby's visit, but he demised it, then; telling himself that Bobby's word had affected him, even though he didn't want to admit it.  
>He didn't want to be the one going back, he wanted Dean to wait. And finally when Dean had called him a few days back, the churning in his stomach had gotten worse, but instead of talking to Dean, he had chosen the way that he was so accustomed to. He had hung up on his brother and now he couldn't help but to feel guilty and responsible for Dean's critical condition.<p>

Dean had called him and he had hung up. Maybe he could get him some help sooner if he hadn't been such a spoiled brat.

Damn, didn't Dean and Bobby call him the same thing, before? He _felt_ like a brat. A grown up wouldn't act that way. The unnerving point was that he had realized that Dean was right about killing Amy and that he would've done the same if he was in Dean's place.

But as much as he was sorry for Amy and losing a friend, he was hurt because Dean had went behind his back and that was why he couldn't talk to his brother anymore.

Or at least, it was the reason, at first.

Later he refused to talk to Dean just out of stubbornness and a little shame. He had said things that he wasn't proud of and apologizing wasn't something easy for him. He didn't know why, but he was upset that Dean seemed to be always right. He really wanted to prove himself and it hurt him to see that Dean usually knew better.

He wanted to tell Dean that he didn't mean what he'd said before storming out, two weeks ago.

_'Man, has it really been just two weeks? It _more _feels like two **years**.'_

But he was afraid that Dean wouldn't forgive him. Dean was the most forgiving person he'd ever known, but even he had his own limits and Sam had asked for his forgiveness way too many times.

And the sad thing was that he wanted _Dean_ to apologize, this time; for betraying his trust, even if it was just because Dean wanted to protect him and didn't have any other choice.

So he kept ignoring Dean and went his own way. And now might be too late to fix things.

He felt like he'd screwed up, again and like many other times Dean was the one who was paying the price; writhing in pain alone, like he didn't have anyone to care about him; like he didn't have a brother who'd actually give his life to save him.

The problem was that_ this brother_ couldn't express his feeling unless it was anger. He didn't know exactly when he had changed to this new Sam, but he remembered a time when it was so easy for him to talk and show his feelings towards his brother. Sometime he really missed his old self.

No. He wasn't late, he couldn't think like that. He would get to Dean in time and they would somehow get through it. He would find some way. He just needed to get to the hospital and show Dean that he cared; that he wasn't alone in this world. He would tell Dean that he understood why he'd killed Amy and why he'd kept it secret. He owed his brother everything. He'd fix their relationship.

Just if the damn plane would go faster.

...

"Hi. Umm, I'm looking for my brother, Dean-"

"Sam?"

Sam turned around to find Bobby standing there with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Bobby? They called you, too?"

Bobby remained silent.

"They didn't call you, did they?"

Bobby shook his eyes. "I was the one who brought him in. I asked the nurse to call you. I wasn't sure you'd answer if you heard my voice."

That made Sam drop his head. "I know. I'm sorry." And then he looked up sharply. "How's Dean? Where is he? What happened?"

"He's in the Intensive care. Come with me. I'll tell you everything."

...

Half an hour later, Sam silently walked into the room that was holding Dean inside. Dean was lying on his left side, facing the door. His eyes were closed and lines of pain were obvious around his eyes and his mouth.

"Dean." Sam whispered, not expecting Dean to open his eyes at his voice.

Dean narrowed his eyes and then mumbled something, before closing his eyes again.

Right then Bobby walked into the room. He had decided to let the boys be alone for a few minutes, but he couldn't fight the urge to see Dean for himself.

"Dean." he called when he saw Sam standing by the door, not moving or saying anything.

Dean's eyes opened again, glancing at Sam, he turned his gaze to Bobby. "I think it's getting worse, Bobby."

Sam felt sick. Dean didn't even acknowledge him; he probably hated him. He wasn't wanted there. If he could move his legs, he would've been out of the room in an instant.

"Why?" Bobby's worried voice shook him.

"I think that _poison-black-goo_ thingy is affecting my brain. I'm seeing things."

"What kind of thing?" Bobby approached the bed anxiously.

"Umm, it probably sounds pathetic. But I can see Sam standing there."

Bobby's eye widened at that, before he burst into laughter. It somehow was a bitter laugh, but he also felt relieved that things weren't actually getting worse.

Sam didn't find it funny at all. For him it was like being punched in the stomach. Dean had seen him but he hadn't believed his eyes; he acted like he wasn't real. Damn, his brother thought that he would never show up. Apparently it was easier for him to think that he was hallucinating rather than believing that his brother was really there.

"Shut up, old man. It's not funny." Dean berated.

"Oh, it _is_ funny, since _I_ can see Sam, too. You scared me, Dean."

"Huh?"

"Dean?" Sam called.

Dean looked at him and then back at Bobby. "He's real?"

"Yes, son. Your brother is here. Didn't you want him to come?"

"Yeah, for the last time." Dean murmured.

"Gaah, don't start that bullshit again. Take your time with your brother. I'll be outside, chatting with that cute nurse."

Dean would've taunted him, saying something sarcastic if he wasn't so shocked to see Sam, there. "Sammy?"

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**... TBC ...**

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><p><strong>.<br>**

**Alright, how was this one? !**

Usually, I cannot understand Sam that much! So, forgive me if my reasoning for his behavior doesn't seem right. (It sounds right to me; I can't understand why else he'd act the way he does!)

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**Thank you all for your kind words and support.** Your comments make my day! ^_^

Dear **sarah**,** Queen Bee** and **dafnasom** thanks for your kind & encouraging words! :D

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	5. Chapter 5

_"Dean?" Sam called._

_Dean looked at him and then back at Bobby. "He real?"_

_"Yes, son. Your brother is here. Didn't you want him to come?"_

_"Yeah, for the last time." Dean murmured._

_"Gaah, don't start that bullshit again. Take your time with your brother. I'll be outside, chatting with that cute nurse."_

_Dean would've taunted him, saying something sarcastic if he wasn't so shocked to see Sam, there. "Sammy?"_

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><p>.<p>

"Yes, Dean. It's me, I'm sorry." he approached his brother. "I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. Sorry I wasn't there when I should've. Sorry I came late." Sam

"'s OK. You were angry. You had every right to be." Dean had already forgiven his brother.

"No Dean, I didn't. You were right. I would've done the same thing if I were you. I.. I said some mean things that I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I know it's lame to just say so, but I'll do everything to prove myself to you."

"Sam, it's alri-"

"No. I know you can forgive easily. You've always forgiven me and I think that's why I .. You know, keep repeating my mistakes and keep hurting you. Hell, my excuses are even lame to my own ears." he took a deep breath. "I've said them so many times recently that I don't know how-.. I ... I know you can't really believe me and you probably think that I'll break my promise sometime soon. But I'll try- I-"

"That's all I can ask. It's good enough, Sammy." Dean tried to reassure his brother. It actually meant a lot to him that Sam had apologized and was aware of his mistakes. It'd impressed him to see that Sam knew he kinda doubted him and expected to see another betrayal, but he was glad to see his brother really wanted to try and it wasn't like Sam had ever hurt him intentionally. It was just painful to see that Sam never trusted him enough to rely on his judgment.

"I'm sorry, too. You know, for lying to you and keeping a secret. I really wanted to protect you, you were having enough to deal with and well,.. um.. I guess I was also a little scared of losing you. Sorry." It wasn't easy for Dean to say those words aloud, but he thought that Sam deserved to hear them.

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. That was true; Dean's bête noir was losing his family. Not that he couldn't move forward, no, things had changed; Dean could and would live alone if he had to, but that didn't mean that he had to like it. He didn't want to lose Sam again, and there Sam had done the exact same thing that Dean was scared of and was one of the reasons he had kept killing Amy secret. _'Damn, this makes even more sense, now!'_

"I understand it, now." Sam sat down on the chair. "Damn, I shouldn't have left like that. I know, now why you didn't tell me about it."

Dean smiled and closed his eyes, he already felt like a big hole inside him had started to be filled. He might have felt like he would be alright just if he wasn't so damn tired.

"Dean. You're not thinking about giving up, or anything. Are you? All the way to here I was thinking about being late; about losing you. I can't let that happen, Dean. If I was there with you, none of this would've happened. It's my fault. Don't give up, Dean. Please."

"Sam." Dean's voice was low, but it was firm. "It was NOT your fault. Keep it on your mind. This could've happened another way. Hell, we both might have been here in the hospital, so I'm kinda glad you weren't there. And it's not about giving up, sometimes it's your time and you can feel it." he chuckled. "How many times has it been my time?"

"It's not funny and it definitely s not your time, Dean. And exactly, you've said that phrase so many times and none of them was really your time."

"Some of them were."

"Your mission here is not accomplished, yet."

"Says who? Because we both know that there's no one up there deciding about it."

"Well, then what's the point of dying? We both have seen the other side, there's nothing interesting there."

"I liked the drinks."

"Like you don't, down here."

"Good point."

"It's not your time, Dean. We've to get rid of these new creatures."

"They're not new."

"What?"

"They're kinda the oldest. Remember when Death told us about them?"

Sam actually laughed at that. "Whatever, man. You know what I mean. By the way, what really happened?"

"Another time?" Dean asked, not up for talking any longer. The pain was too intense and it felt like something was trying to tear him apart from the inside out, ripping out his heart.

Sam sobered instantly. "Sure, take some rest. I'll be here when you wake up." he squeezed his brother's forearm and let him drift off.

"Everything alright between you two?" Bobby asked when he paced into the room, a few minutes later.

Sam straightened in his seat and looked at the old man. "Better than I can even ask for."

"He can never hold a grudge against you, but that doesn't mean you can hurt him whenever you like. Don't blow your chances." Bobby reproached, but his voice was kind and fatherly.

"I know. I always say that to myself, but when the time comes, I repeat the same mistake."

"It's because you're John Winchester's son; it's probably in your blood, at least you admit it. It's a good thing."

Sam smiled. "Listen, I'm sorry about the other day."

"Forget it, son. You were hurt. I'm glad you've got your eyes open, before it's too late."

"It's already too late."

"No it's not. Dean's alive and he'll pull through this. We'll be there for him. He's not alone."

"No, he's not." _'And I'm lucky to have him.'_ Sam thought ruefully. "I wish I could see things differently before he gets hurt so bad. It seems like I always just remember it when the grim reaper comes to visit him."

"The grim reaper isn't here and we'll keep it that way. Your brother's in a lot of pain. He's a mess. But he's _not_ dying."

"You said something about the Leviathan's blood inside him. What's it doing to him? We don't know anything about it."

"No, we don't. But he's been fighting it for a few days, now. I'm sure he can defeat it. He just needs some support."

Sam nodded determinedly. "You're right."

"When aren't I?"

"The time when you said Dad would come back before Christmas."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Trust you to remember that one."

"I remember every single one of them."

"Haha. Yeah. Get some sleep, you look like crap. Besides, we're going to have some rough days. You haven't seen Dean yet when he has an attack."

"He has attacks? What kinda of attacks?"

"Yeah, it's because of that damn thing in his blood. His body is trying to fight it, but every now and then the pain rushes too fast, too hard for him to be able to keep his composure. Without the pain med it's -" Bobby shook his head. "Let's just say I've seen enough of them to last me a life time and it has just happened three times the last few days. First one was the one that made me call for an ambulance."

"What does trigger them?"

"Nothing. They just come from nowhere. One second he's asleep; the next he's yelling in pain."

"Why don't they try blood transfusion?"

"They already had done it once. But the poison has entered his organs and it'll take time to clean his system completely."

"When was his last attack?"

"About 5 hours ago. I've witnessed two of them firsthand. I heard his yells when the other one happened. It was just before they took him to surgery."

Sam swallowed hard. "And what should we do when one of them happens?"

"We? Nothing. We've to stand aside and watch. The nurses and doctors will try to calm him down with mild sedatives, because they can't risk strong medicines. His heart isn't in a good shape, right now. We've to wait for the tension to pass."

Sam rubbed his temple. "Things can never go the easy way, can they?"

"What can I say? You luck sucks."

"No kidding." he shut his eyes and was out less than a minute later.

He woke up with Dean's moan and before he could realize what was happening, Dean's scream filled the air, bringing the nurses and doctors to the room.

Shoving Sam aside, they started to help Dean through his agony, while Sam and Bobby stood aside and watched the whole dreadful scene unfolding in front of them. It was killing Sam to watch his brother struggle with such an intense pain.  
>Dean who always had been so stoic and strong, was yelling in pain and it seemed like nothing in the world could help him with his white-hot blinding agony. Finally after what felt like hours, even though it was just a few minutes, Dean's yells subsided into spells of protracted moaning and then he lost consciousness completely.<p>

A few minutes later, his doctor finished his examination for the moment and walked towards Sam and Bobby. "This one didn't last long and considering the pressure on his heart it's a really good sign." his doctor announced.

"The pressure on his heart?" Sam queried anxiously.

"Yes, the poison is affecting his heart and he carries some risk for heart attack, but fortunately it seems like the poison's finally wearing off, therefore I think he's out of immediate danger."

"It really is wearing off?" Bobby's voice was laced with hope.

"I can't say for sure, yet. But the attack didn't last long and he seems to be less distressed. Without any further complications, I think it's safe to say he will make a full recovery. It probably will take a long time, though."

Sam's face split into a real smile for the first time since two weeks ago. "That doesn't matter, just as long as he recovers completely_. _When can we take him home?"

"Not so fast. The poison is still in his system and we need to keep a close eye on him for a while longer. You need to be patient."

Sam nodded earnestly which brought a smile to Bobby and the doctor's face. "I'll be back in a few hours for another checkup." he said and left the two men with their ailing family.

"He'll be fine." Sam repeated the doctor's word as he walked back to Dean and sat down on the chair by his bedside.

"You hear, Dean? You'll be just fine." he sounded like a little kid who had been given the best present in the world. Well, he actually had been given the best present in the world and he was truly thankful for it.

"Not if you put more of that crushing pressure on my arm. Sam, it hurts." Dean opened his eyes.

"Oh." Sam suddenly realized that he'd been squeezing Dean's arm out of enthusiasm. "Sorry?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Fine." Dean grunted and closed his eyes again.

"How are you feeling, boy?"

"Stronger." he replied without looking at Bobby. "Still tired as hell."

"Well, then get some sleep. That's all you've to do."

"Good." He mumbled and went quiet. The other two were sure he was asleep until he suddenly spoke up again. "Bobby?"

"Yes, son?"

"Would you please feed Sam? I bet he hasn't eaten properly for a good time, now and he won't eat if you don't make him."

Sam started to protest but closed his mouth as he met Dean's glare. He didn't know how Dean did that, but even sick and deadly tired, Dean could manage to scare him with his glares; under normal situation, of course.

"Sure thing. I'll even make him get some shut-eye, as well. You just rest."

"Thanks. You better take some rest, too, old man." He grinned slightly before closing his eyes and really dozing off.

"Did he just call me old man? He'll pay for it." Bobby growled. "Come on, let's go down and eat something. This isn't over, yet. We need our strengths."

"We can't just leave Dean alone."

"Yes, we can. He needs his rest and we need some fuel. Come on, boy; I don't need him on my ass for letting you get sick."

"I'm not four, you know?"

"Then move your ass and let's get something to eat. I'm hungry. It's the first time that Dean's sleeping peacefully. We need to celebrate."

"With what?" Sam asked as he followed Bobby out of the room.

"Pizza."

"Wow, how different from our usual meals."

Their voices faded as they stepped into the elevator, not noticing the small smile on the corner of Dean's mouth. Dean might have been still tired, but he knew for sure that he could bounce back, again. He had his family by his side. What more could a guy ask for?

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**-The End-**

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><p><strong>AN: Alright, that's it! I hope you aren't all too disappointed. Just tell me what you think? :)**

**Thanks for sticking with me. I think I really needed to get this out of my system and your words and support made it a great experience. Thanks! ^_^  
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